I am an Emotional Binger

I like to think that I'm not an emotional eater. I like to think that I'm just a person, with a lot of (very strong) emotions, who happens to eat to, ya know, survive.

Yesterday the truth came out.

I went to see my surgeon, to set a date for gallbladder removal (Friday).  And of course you have to weigh before you can even talk to a doctor, much less see one to schedule something, like surgery.  So I'm all chatty cathy with the nurse, "I haven't weighed since Fat Tuesday," little chuckle," I gave it up for lent." She just nods and starts moving the weights over (yes we are that old school around here). "Alright, two eighty-two. We're going right..."

I didn't hear any more. Two hundred EIGHTY-two?! I was two seventy on Fat Tuesday. 

I reigned in my downward spiral of thoughts and answered, yet again, that this would, in fact, be my first surgery.  After the nurse left me in the room, my thoughts went wild.

Some how I made it through the appointment, set my date, and went back to work.  And I basically ate my way through Tuesday afternoon.

I didn't track it. It's all a blur of shoving and chewing, in private where no one could see me, ask me questions, or demand any responsibility out of me for my decisions.

And here I am the morning after confessing my emotional binge. It's not easy, it's really embarrassing, admitting these faults. But I must hold myself responsible. I refuse to let ONE bad, unscheduled, weigh in set me back! So this morning I drank my coffee and my slimfast. I'll eat a healthy lunch and dinner. I'll attempt to get my 8 glasses of water in.

This is not a set back, it's a setup for a comeback! (Thanks Joel Osteen!)